Top Ten Biggest Jerks In Literature: Harry Potter Style

Top Ten Tuesdays are hosted by The Broke And The Bookish. I actually really like this week’s theme of Top Ten Biggest Jerks, and it makes me think of Harry Potter, being you know nerdy and awesome and all.

SO this week, I’m counting down the Top Ten Biggest Jerks in the Harry Potter Universe.

SPOILERS AHEAD

10. Professor Snape

Snapes On A Plane

Snapes On A Plane

Say what you will Snape fans, I still don’t love Snape. I mean, come on. All those detentions? The whole Slytherin favoritism. Not cool, Snape, not cool. And I get that he redeems himself, but I still don’t love him.

9. Dudley Dursely

Dudley Dursely

Dudley Dursely

Dudikins! He’s pretty low on the totem pole of jerks in Harry Potter. But for serious? The whole two bedrooms, I didn’t get more presents than last year sort of thing. Then the smeltings stick.

8. Gilderoy Lockhart

Gilderoy Lockhart, mirrors, self absorbed, books

Gilderoy Lockhart

It’s a wonder he can walk through doors with a head that big. What really makes Gilderoy a jerk? He takes credit for things other witches and wizards do. Methinks someone needs his wand taken away.

7. Cornelius Fudge

Cornelius Fudge, minister of magic

Cornelius Fudge

The Minister of Magic! He cares more about the Ministry’s image and bureaucracy than the safety of the wizarding community. Dude, when Voldemort is on the loose you don’t just sit on your hands. YOU GO FIND HIM AND GO AVADA KEDVARA ON HIS ASS.

6.Β  Peter Pettigrew aka Wormtail

Peter Pettigrew, Wormtail, Harry Potter

I'm Dead Sexyyy

You know how you think you can trust mild mannered people with your secrets, because, well they are mild? DON’T. Peter Pettigrew is kind of a douche-y hanger-on who can’t stand up for himself and gloms on to wherever the power is. He changes sides at the drop of a hat. That makes him kind of a jerk. OH and the whole blaming Sirius for something and landing Sirius in Azkaban. Not cool, bro, not cool.

5. Kreacher

Krecher, House elf, Harry Potter

Kreacher

Kreacher is not a free house elf. Kreacher is absolutely a jerk. He calls people in the Order names. He steals things. Plus he puts Harry in a bad position at the Ministry of Magic due to a lie. Yeah, dude, Kreacher is a meanie.

4. Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts, Younger

Draco Malfoy

I get that people like to ship Harry and Draco and say that Draco is just a product of his environment. However, I’m calling a spade a spade. Draco is a jerk. I mean, when he steals messes up Ron’s work area in Potions and Harry and Ron have to do their whole project over again and Draco doesn’t get any blame? YEAH THAT’S JERKWAD BEHAVIOR. Then trying to knock Harry off his broom during Quidditch. OH and the Weasley Is Our King? Or calling Hermoine a mudblood? Yes. He’s a straight-up jerk.

3. Bellatrix Lestrange

Bellatrix, Crazy Sauce , Bad Hair Day, Lestrange

Bad Hair Day?

You know what makes Bellatrix Lestrange a jerk? Just ask Alice and Frank Longbottom! Oh wait, you can’t do that because they are at St. Mungos! Although, if Bellatrix wasn’t such a jerk, we wouldn’t have that beautiful ‘NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH’ line from Mrs. Weasley, showcasing just how badass she truly is.

2. Lord Voldemort

Voldemort

Voldy Voldy Voldemort

He who must not be named, is not number one on this list. TAKE THAT. If you have to ask why he is a jerk, then well. You need to read the books.

1. Professor Dolores Umbridge

Dolores Umbridge, Professor, Evil, Pink, Tea

Umbridge

Every time Umbridge shows up, whether it’s on the page, the audio, or the movie, my blood pressure rises. I start to literally see red. She punishes Harry after he goes through a very traumatic event. And she does it while wearing pink and a smile. Tell me that isn’t jerk like behavior. Straight up, Umbridge is an asshole. THEN of course, she’s all let’s celebrate Pure Bloods and let me be the boss of this committee. And well, that’s low down. OH OH OH and when she disolved all of the clubs, and then wouldn’t let them learn how to defend themselves in Defense Against The Dark Arts because the students would never face that sort of thing, makes me hate her just a bit more!

So there you have it, my personal Top Ten of Jerks in Literature, specifically Harry Potter.

About April (Books&Wine)

April is 28 years old and created Good Books And Good Wine. She works for a non-profit. In her free time she can be found reading, working out, or eating junk food. She often wears her sunglasses at night.

Comments

  1. Awesome! I totally think Umbridge is more evil than Voldy. For some reason, as evil and bad as Voldemort is, I just can’t bring myself to hate him. In fact, I think it’d be funny if Rowling did a spook Voldemort autobiography. It’d be HILARIOUS.

    Umbridge on the other hand – man I loathe that woman. She is WAY more psycho than Voldemort. Voldy wants power and immortality. Umbridge just enjoys being a crazy b**** for the hell of it.
    Sarah recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday- Biggest Literary JerksMy Profile

    • I would totally read that.

      OH MY GAWD. Umbridge, I loathe her too. I completely agree that she’s worse than Voldemort. You are so right as far as their motivations go, and I think that’s why I loathe her so much.

  2. This list is great! So many jerks in the HP books. I agree with Umbrudge as #1, I absolutely loathe that woman. So much that my skin crawls when I see the same actress in other movies, playing another role. There is nothing worse than a misguided jerk, who thinks they are doing the whole world a favor.

  3. Ugh, Umbridge. She makes me twitchy, I absolutely cannot stand her. She makes me want to punch a kitten, and how evil is THAT?
    Ashley recently posted..Teaser Tuesday 1My Profile

  4. Fantastic list and I love that Umbridge tops it. I’d put her above Voldemort any day. She made my list of Top Ten Female Characters I Want to Throw off a Cliff.

    The only character I think you’re missing is Percy Weasley. He’s such a jerk because he puts his “Yes Man” attitude above his family and basically sells out those underneath him and who he loves.
    Jenni Elyse recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday- Literary JerksMy Profile

  5. I completely agree with you about all of these jerks, they were all pretty bad and Umbridge..grrrrr!!!! Everytime I see her and read about her it just makes me soooo pissed!! She was such a bitch, I think I hate her the most. Great post, I love HP!!!! =)

  6. I totally agree with your choices. Also, I love the images you picked out, especially the one of Snapes on a Plane.
    Liz recently posted..Review of The Sweetest Thing by Christina MandelskiMy Profile

  7. I SO agree with you when it comes to Lockhart and Umbridge! They are both horrible. But I always found Dudley only stupid, Draco a coward and Wormtail kind of pitiful – not really jerks! Isn’t it kind of an understatement to call Voldemort a jerk?
    Anyway, great list!!

    Here’s mine: http://peskypiksipesternomi.blogspot.com/2011/05/top-ten-tuesday-is-original.html
    Priya recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday 2My Profile

  8. Best list ever! And I love that you put Umbridge first! one of the most brilliantly evil characters in all of literature. Yeah, Voldemort is evil, but in a very obvious way. Umbridge is much more conniving.
    Beth S. recently posted..In My Mailbox 28My Profile

  9. I COMPLETELY agree with you on Umbridge. God, that woman.
    Anyway, I loved this post! The Snapes on a Plane image, especially, made me snort. =P
    Lauren recently posted..Die for Me by Amy PlumMy Profile

  10. I’m with you on all of these except Snape, but I have always been a Snape-lover. πŸ˜€

    I think Bellatrix is probably the most evil of all of them, though. She scares me far more than V.

  11. Amazing list- I love that you put Umbridge higher that Voldy. She reminds me of my AP Calc teacher in high school haha. What a witch! (pun accidental.)
    Allison @ La Petite Fille Rousse recently posted..Review of The Big Crunch by Pete HautmanMy Profile

  12. Great list!
    Both Snape and Malfoy made my top list, and Bellatrix and Umbridge were on my “top ten mean girls” list a couple of weeks ago. This series definitely has some provoking characters!

  13. Wonderful list. I’m so with you on Fudge. There are some obvious villains in HP, but he is often overlooked. Sometimes doing is worse than anything else.
    Melissa recently posted..75 Signs You’re a BibliophileMy Profile

  14. Lucia Hua says:

    What a great list! Umbridge? Genius. Although… I won’t go ranting about Snape, but I do love him. πŸ™‚
    Lucia Hua recently posted..Teaser Tuesday 18My Profile

  15. I was reading through your list thinking, “Where’s that hideous woman, Delores Umbridge? She has to be on this list!” And, yes, she’s number one in my book, too! Grr to her and all her pink-ness!
    LOL. Great list.
    Mary @ Book Swarm recently posted..DIVERGENT by Veronica RothMy Profile

  16. Wow – all ten from the HP series? Impressive! I probably would have thrown Barty Crouch in there too, but I can’t argue out any of your choices. (And I love the Snapes on a Plane – hilarious!)
    lisa πŸ™‚ recently posted..Characters You Love to Hate Top Ten TuesdayMy Profile

  17. Great list. How fun that you kept it to Harry Potter! I had fleeting visions of doing that myself.

    Also, I agree on Snape. I do love him a little, but he was awful to Harry, Neville, and non-Slytherins in general.
    Jenna St. Hilaire recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday- Literary Jerks- Cads- and Other Male FiendsMy Profile

  18. Agreed, agreed, agreed! Umbridge, I loathed her. Voldemort had no idea what he was doing and didn’t care but Umbridge? She was just pure EVIL; she knew exactly what she was doing and she even enjoyed it. Oh, how I loathed her.

  19. HaHa … very funny. I enjoyed this post … I couldn’t help agreeing with most of it
    Kah Woei @ The Books of My Life recently posted..Review – Graceling by Kristin CashoreMy Profile

  20. Jerks jerks jerks galore! Brilliant take on it to do all HP. Loved!
    Anna recently posted..Shift by Jeri Smith-ReadyMy Profile

  21. There are really a lot of jerks in Harry Potter. If I were to choose only one for my list, I would choose Draco Malfoy.

    Read my list here.
    Laura recently posted..Top Ten Tuesday- MeaniesMy Profile

  22. Great post, it was very entertaining to read. I scrolled down the screen slowly, seeing the names pop up one by one, hoping against hope that Ms. Umbridge wouldn’t show up /just yet/. And then Voldemort was second to last and I had hope.

    Dolores Umbridge=psycho
    Riv Re recently posted..Trailer Day!My Profile

  23. Fantastic post! I agree with all of these, especially Umbridge, Voldemort, Fudge, and Draco. I’d probably put Lucius Malfoy on the list too if there was room. And Fenrir Greyback for attacking kids. Not cool.

    I had to laugh when I saw you’d made Umbridge the number one jerk. I have been listening to the Order of the Phoenix audiobook on my way to work and I have to turn it off sometimes because I get mad at Umbridge and don’t want to wreck my car πŸ™‚
    Christina T recently posted..Teaser Tuesdays 48My Profile

  24. Haha! I think I agree with this.
    Voldemort joining Twitter did undo his credibility a little bit.
    Umbridge is a bad woman! The lines cutting into Harry’s hand were out of line!

    Yeah…I think I need someone to explain how Snape isn’t bad…again :S

  25. I have to agree with you about Umbridge. I mean, obviously Voldemort is super duper evil, and Bellatrix is lacking a conscience like crazy, but NO ONE made me see red more than Umbridge. She’s totally who I most wanted to reach through the page and punch!
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  26. This post made me love you more than I already do and DAMN I didn’t think that was possible.
    Carla recently posted..Waiting on Wednesday – There is No Dog by Meg RosoffMy Profile

  27. This list is all kinds of awesome! Umbridge rightfully earned her asshole spot at #1. While good ol’ Voldy is evil evil, Umbridge is more ‘from the pits of hell, torture-the-world’ kind of evil.

  28. what about filch? huge jerk in my opinion.

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