Top Ten Tuesdays are hosted by The Broke And The Bookish. I actually really like this week’s theme of Top Ten Biggest Jerks, and it makes me think of Harry Potter, being you know nerdy and awesome and all.
SO this week, I’m counting down the Top Ten Biggest Jerks in the Harry Potter Universe.
10. Professor Snape
Say what you will Snape fans, I still don’t love Snape. I mean, come on. All those detentions? The whole Slytherin favoritism. Not cool, Snape, not cool. And I get that he redeems himself, but I still don’t love him.
9. Dudley Dursely
Dudikins! He’s pretty low on the totem pole of jerks in Harry Potter. But for serious? The whole two bedrooms, I didn’t get more presents than last year sort of thing. Then the smeltings stick.
8. Gilderoy Lockhart
It’s a wonder he can walk through doors with a head that big. What really makes Gilderoy a jerk? He takes credit for things other witches and wizards do. Methinks someone needs his wand taken away.
7. Cornelius Fudge
The Minister of Magic! He cares more about the Ministry’s image and bureaucracy than the safety of the wizarding community. Dude, when Voldemort is on the loose you don’t just sit on your hands. YOU GO FIND HIM AND GO AVADA KEDVARA ON HIS ASS.
6. Peter Pettigrew aka Wormtail
You know how you think you can trust mild mannered people with your secrets, because, well they are mild? DON’T. Peter Pettigrew is kind of a douche-y hanger-on who can’t stand up for himself and gloms on to wherever the power is. He changes sides at the drop of a hat. That makes him kind of a jerk. OH and the whole blaming Sirius for something and landing Sirius in Azkaban. Not cool, bro, not cool.
Kreacher is not a free house elf. Kreacher is absolutely a jerk. He calls people in the Order names. He steals things. Plus he puts Harry in a bad position at the Ministry of Magic due to a lie. Yeah, dude, Kreacher is a meanie.
4. Draco Malfoy
I get that people like to ship Harry and Draco and say that Draco is just a product of his environment. However, I’m calling a spade a spade. Draco is a jerk. I mean, when he steals messes up Ron’s work area in Potions and Harry and Ron have to do their whole project over again and Draco doesn’t get any blame? YEAH THAT’S JERKWAD BEHAVIOR. Then trying to knock Harry off his broom during Quidditch. OH and the Weasley Is Our King? Or calling Hermoine a mudblood? Yes. He’s a straight-up jerk.
3. Bellatrix Lestrange
You know what makes Bellatrix Lestrange a jerk? Just ask Alice and Frank Longbottom! Oh wait, you can’t do that because they are at St. Mungos! Although, if Bellatrix wasn’t such a jerk, we wouldn’t have that beautiful ‘NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH’ line from Mrs. Weasley, showcasing just how badass she truly is.
2. Lord Voldemort
He who must not be named, is not number one on this list. TAKE THAT. If you have to ask why he is a jerk, then well. You need to read the books.
1. Professor Dolores Umbridge
Every time Umbridge shows up, whether it’s on the page, the audio, or the movie, my blood pressure rises. I start to literally see red. She punishes Harry after he goes through a very traumatic event. And she does it while wearing pink and a smile. Tell me that isn’t jerk like behavior. Straight up, Umbridge is an asshole. THEN of course, she’s all let’s celebrate Pure Bloods and let me be the boss of this committee. And well, that’s low down. OH OH OH and when she disolved all of the clubs, and then wouldn’t let them learn how to defend themselves in Defense Against The Dark Arts because the students would never face that sort of thing, makes me hate her just a bit more!
So there you have it, my personal Top Ten of Jerks in Literature, specifically Harry Potter.