There are spoilers in this. Obviously you are a big dumb moron if you read through a post about endings and don’t expect spoilers, so if you sit here and yell at me about spoilers, I will sit here and mock it like it’s hot. Got it?
Top Ten Books Where The Ending Made My Jaw Drop
1. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer
First of all, this book has the dumbest fucking ending I have ever read. And let me tell you I actually kind of liked these books until Breaking Dawn then I was like what the shit. There’s this big huge build up and we think there’s going to be an awesome fight with the volturi, but hell no. Instead Bella busts out with her dumbass power much like the kid with the heart ring on Captain Planet and it is literally the biggest let down ever.
2. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
Holy fricken hell. Perfect series until the ending. Did you steal it from fanfiction.net JK? Seriously. It’s the epilogue that never should have happened. That said, I will say, it’s nice to have a where are they now on the characters, and so JK Rowling gets a free pass, although my jaw did drop it like it’s hot.
3. Down The Mysterly River by Bill Willingham
Reveal aside, the epilogue of Down The Mysterly River is totally beautiful and I was like, I LOVE THIS SHIT SO HARD. Because I did. Love it hard. But not in a gross way, more like I let me hug you and squeeze all the air out your lungs kind of way.
4. Nevermore by Kelly Creagh
Varen, Varen, Varen. I still don’t exactly understand what the hell happened, except there’s this dude named Pinfeathers. And Varen needs to be saved by Isobel.
5. Going After Cacciato by Tim O’Brien
Classic mindfuck. Enough said. Moving along.
6. Choker by Elizabeth Woods
This ending was right out of left field, and while others thought it was brilliant, I felt cheated.
7. The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner
THIS IS HOW YOU WRITE A BRILLIANT ENDING. Authors take note. Be more like Megan Whalen Turner and write awesome endings and end up on the best books ever in the entire world shelf.
8. Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead
Shadow Kiss left me a broken wreck, because Mead. She went there. Oh friends, she totes went there and I was like WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE, BOOK. Then I promptly read Blood Promise, because you know there’s something to be said for waiting to read a series years after it started publishing.
9. Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks
This is totally on my list of Top Ten Worst Books EVER. What a cheap fucking ending. And yes, I swear. I know I know, swears. But for real, the girl is all making progress with her life BUT THEN SHE DIES BECAUSE SHE OVERDOSES THUS DRUGS ARE BAD MMMKAY. Omg you guys. I literally wanted to run this book over with my car, but then I was like 15 when I read it and didn’t have a car, so really I wanted to throw it under the wheels of my mom’s car. Because frankly, the ending makes no logical sense and comes right out of left field. Seriously. I am getting myself all worked up just thinking about it.
10. My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Guys, I want to quit Picoult SO BAD. But my sister likes her and I try to connect with her through books so I can’t. And then they went and made a movie out of this. So I was like, oh cool this should be good. And then I read it and got so invested. AND THEN the book shoots itself in the goddamned foot with that ending and I’m like what the fuck man. Because and this is spoileriffic so don’t be a moron and read: the girl goes through the whole book deciding if she wants to be used as spare parts for her sister with cancer and we have this big huge moral dilemma. THEN at the end, she fucking dies in a car accident and everyone is all HURRAH WE CAN USE HER TO SAVE HER LIVING CANCER SISTER. Good fucking lord, I threw this book hard when I finished it.